On Mother's Day, Ask an Expert like Mrs. T

Someone once told me “If Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy.” While this old Southern quote may seem harsh, the truth of the matter is that each of us, no matter how old we get, have a deep desire to keep Mama happy. The day that makes all this easier and organizes us when we don’t think to do those considerate things ourselves is Mother’s Day. Although an occasion developed and sponsored by the card companies and flower shops, the day offers a chance, if at no other time, to pause a moment to make our mothers happy – after all, she’s been doing it all year for us.

It’s all gotten to be so easy for us too. Whether we live close to our mother and can drop by the local supermarket and pick up bread, milk and Mother’s Day flowers, or live miles away where we simply log on and select the arrangement of our choice, shopping for Mother’s Day is easier than ever. In other words, there is simply no excuse for forgetting Mother on that special day. Or at least there shouldn’t be an excuse.

I remember as a teenager working at a local florist. Those were the days when grocery stores didn’t sell flowers and corsages were all the rage (hard to believe, isn’t it)? The florist where I worked (named Ramelle’s after the first of four generations to work in it) used to have a line out the door several days before Mother’s Day as the hopeful customers waited their turns. The owner, part of the third generation, used to pass out numbers and even drinks as the patient buyers stood in line for an hour or more to pick out flowers for wives and mothers. The owner, a sweet lady named Carolyn (I called her Mrs T), used to laugh that most of the men who came in during the Mother’s Day rush picked out larger arrangements for their mothers than wives. A trend that I think still exists in earnest… or should.

Once at the front of the line, it was touching to see these men browse the wide array of FTD selections, corsage samples and even candies and cards the owner had available for their review. Most of the time they deferred to Mrs. T, who , like most moms, usually knew best. She would take a look at them and assess their needs like a tailor ready to make a custom-made suit. She was both a mom and a guardian angel to moms in a kind and long forgotten way of doing business.

I used to laugh that Mrs. T. was such a purist about Mother’s Day. She used to get her Irish up (and I am not sure if she had any Irish to get up) when she saw men getting their wives flowers for Mother’s Day. Even in her own family, she used to tell her husband, “I am not your mother. Save the flowers for when you do something that makes me mad.” While we often joked that she wouldn’t have to wait long for the bouquet under that stipulation, it was sort of fun to see a purist in the retail profession -- someone who put the tradition before the dollar and didn’t think the Aunts, Sisters, Godmothers, etc. should all get something since, after it, it was Mother’s Day. And while such refreshing honesty might have hurt her business, she would tell the men to let the kids pick out the gifts for mom and they should just honor their own mothers on that special day. I can’t help but wonder how many of the men got in trouble on that Sunday morning for following Mrs. T’s advice! To this day, when my godson gives me card or gift on Mother’s Day, I feel a little guilty for being an accessory to the crime of improper gift-giving she taught me. Years ago, I even announced to my family that I was not a mother and did not want to receive Mother’s Day gifts – it was, after all, Mother’s Day, and I was happy to wish them that day but would only participate in it by giving my own Mom a gift. I think Mrs. T. would have liked that she taught me that much (oh and so much more).

Mrs. T is retired now and the next generation (who protested loudly they would not) is running Ramelle’s. Since I still purchase my flowers there, I recognize some of Mrs. T’s styles that still exist among the changes her hip daughter has brought about. And while Ramelle’s still carries on some of her traditions, the celebration of Mother's Day has changed drastically through the years. For example, I remember the “mandated” tradition of wearing a white corsage on Mother’s Day if your mother was deceased and wearing other colors if she was still alive. My fingers are still worn out from the thousands of corsages I made each Mother’s Day for the faithful everywhere to pin on for Sunday services (even those wrist corsages weren’t a big deal back then). I suspect that most people aren’t wearing those corsages anymore (I see fewer and fewer) but, if they are, few know or care about the old-fashioned rules of corsage wearing Mrs. T taught me (I still do). Perhaps what I learned most at that florist (among so many many things) is to ask an expert -- when shopping for any occasion. Just as the customers at Ramelle’s Florist asked Mrs. T, an extraordinary mother as well as floral designer, when shopping for any gift, especially one as important as a Mother’s Day gift, ask an expert. Even in choosing flowers, determine what that favorite flower is instead of just picking out one and sticking a card in it. An expert will help get that info out of you so "expertly" that you will just think the Mrs. Ts of the world are having a casual chat with you... that's why they are experts.

Those days are long gone (well not that long!), and flowers, cards and candies are sold just about everywhere now – from the local grocery store to the convenience store around the corner. But the memory of an expert, someone who really knew and really cared, lingers and I wonder if anyone realized how many Mothers Days were better because of an expert named Mrs. T. Happy Mother’s Day!